10 Things Not to Say to a Swedish-American

Scandinavian cultures are, unfortunately, not as well-integrated into American society as other, more common heritages found in the United States. Swedes, Danes, and Norwegians are among the happiest people in the world, so there's little modern emigration to the United States' "promised land."

According to the US Department of Homeland Security, the top five sending nations for 2012's inflow of legal residents are Mexico, China, India, Philippines, and the Dominican Republic. We're more fluent on these cultures because newly immigrated foreigners are more common in our neighborhoods.

But this highlights the ignorance we have on other world cultures. When I talk to people about my Swedish heritage, they're unfamiliarity with my culture causes them to draw on tired clichés. Take my advice, and broaden your horizons beyond these 10 things you shouldn't say to a Swedish-American:

1. "The Swedish Chef is my favorite Muppet!" Yes, I love the Muppets, too. Really, I believe that Fozzie and I are kindred spirits. But likening my connection to the fatherland with a farcical portrayal that mocks the language and people's phonology might not be the kindest thing. 
2. "You must, like, live at IKEA." Being in Salt Lake City, Utah, there aren't a lot of Swedish vendors around. IKEA is one of the few. But Swedes are more than cheap DYI furniture, and do, in fact, value quality and ethically made products. 
3. "Do you eat anything else besides Swedish meatballs, Swedish fish, and Swedish pancakes?" More things that I love. In fact, while writing this list, I was concurrently dining on köttbullar och potatis, or meatballs and potatoes. (Wednesday is Swedish night at my house). Swedish cuisine includes some of the most delicious meals and pastries you could imagine, but are relatively unknown to us Americans. And as part of this journey, we'll explore a few of those. 
4. "You must be a Viking!" While Sweden was certainly a part of the Viking glory of the olden days, that era ended in the 11th century. Were my predecessors seafaring Vikings? Most likely. But as 900 years spanned between the final days of Vikingdom and my family's sojourn across the Atlantic, that's like calling the British staple Yorkshire Pudding a "Scandinavian delicacy." 
5. Feeding on the Viking theme…"Do you wear a helmet with horns and metal bras?" No joke, this was asked by an incredibly intelligent individual with complete seriousness. No and no. 
6. "Ahhh, like Rose Nylund on The Golden Girls!" Blimey. 
7. "You're all pagans, aren't you?" Nope, paganism, for the most part, ended during the Viking era when Europe underwent a mass Christianization. Sweden, and Scandinavia as a whole, became predominantly Lutheran, the Church of Sweden being the nation's official sect of Lutheranism. But no, I am not now, nor have I ever been, pagan. 
8. "But you're not blond?" That's right, not all Swedes are blond haired, blue eyed cuties. Sweden has embraced multiculturalism, which means Swedish beaches aren't a sea of blondness.
9. "I'm practically Swedish; I drive a Volvo." Great! Support Swedish commerce! Enjoy those great safety features! But no, driving a Volvo makes you no more Swedish than my eating borscht makes me Ukrainian. 
10. "I love your music! And by music, I mean Abba." Did you know that Sweden is the world's top exporter of chart music in relation to GDP? That's right, they've given popular music more than just Abba and Mama Mia. 

What comes to your mind when you think about Swedish culture?